Pregnant stripper...not hot.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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