That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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