no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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