you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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