but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
