Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
