she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
