We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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