True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
