me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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