I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
