I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
