before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
