i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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