Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
