I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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