# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize