I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
