problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
