I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
