guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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