Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
