..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
