Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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