Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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