love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
did i walk over a car last night?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
