I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
