Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
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