I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
