i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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