is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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