it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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