try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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