do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
