after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
