the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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