friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
