Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
