I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
