i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So much rum. So many feels.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
