My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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