I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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