My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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