i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
