like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
