Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize