I will die if light touches me.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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