I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
