I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
