I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
