I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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