First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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