So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
