I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
