Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
