I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
