:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
