Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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