I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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