u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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