Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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