Little spoons don't ask big questions
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
