I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish you could order shots online.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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