Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
